random rant: tough love

a kind of love we love to hate. but the kind of  love that i am very thankful for.

it's the kind of love i grew up with, by the way. and who else is worthy to give me such kind of love? no other than my mom.

people around us thought we had life very easy. we could. but mom refused to give us that kind of life. our friends and other relatives would sometimes ask, "why can't you have this and that.. i'm sure your mom can afford it." .. well, guess what.. for her, there's no such thing as free lunch.

we were treated, but guided,  as if we were young professionals. our allowances per month were like fixed salaries. she would just give us 4k a month, and that's it! we could use it however we want. if we asked more from her, it's considered borrowed. mom would have this journal. it contains the list of how much we borrowed, when we borrowed it, and when we were able to return it. most of the time, we never have to return it. two words - "salary deduction." no allowances during semestral, christmas, and summer breaks, by the way.

she bought us our very first cellphones when i was 16. we only had prepaid because we have to pay our own bills. moreover, she felt we were not ready for a postpaid line. there came a time when she gets irritated whenever we cannot reply. our defense - no load. finally, she was convinced to finally get us a postpaid line as long as we promise to pay our own bills. "deal! it's just like prepaid but without reloading." i said to her. and you guessed it. bills were auto-deducted from our "salary".

Mom, Faye and I during the Loboc River Cruise

when i was 14, i was already obliged to wash our own car. it has to be clean whenever my mom would use it on her way to the office. there are no near by car wash stations in our previous place, plus we don't have household help. when i was in the right age to drive, i didn't have free gas whenever i have to use it on my own. i know, gasoline is VERY expensive. that's not a problem. i know how to commute. but mom was against the idea of NOT using the car whenever we go home late. safety reasons. so she didn't have a choice. the only thing she gives for free is gasoline. among others as long as it's her obligation as a parent.

i could go on and on and list everything. but it will take us years. probably 28 years. plus, i'd reserve the mushy parts for my wedding speech.

this tough love made me the person that i am today. i'm probably the simplest person you could ever know. simple in a way that i would easily be contented on what i have. what we can only provide, and still be thankful. i am the person who only wants what i need. because it's only what i needed that my parents provided to me. that's how we were all raised. i don't have big dreams, but i have dreams that are beyond me.

this tough love simulated what it's like to be "out there". it taught me the responsibilities behind owning a new car. because of my bills, i was able to get the hang of managing my expenses. i became disciplined. and i couldn't ask for a better gift. her ways taught us something. it was like an investment. you suffer at first, but you'll reap the benefits in the future.

life would not be nice to you and would always push you around. this tough love prepared me for this kind of life.

to my dearest mother,
thank you for this tough love. trust me, i know of some people who could only wish you were their mother. and trust me, they don't know what they could be getting in to. just kidding!
we may disagree on things almost all the time, but please know that i love you very much!
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

Travel Rant: The Best Travel Advise I Can Give To Parents

this is not my advise YET:

TRAVELING IS FOR EVERYONE!
it doesn't have to be expensive. many people proved that already. i don't even have to elaborate.

dear parents,
what's your excuse?


regards,
carlo

it pains me whenever i encounter parents who are well-off and can afford, but won't grab the travel opportunity.

let me tell you a story:

my mom once offered to a couple a FREE round trip ticket to singapore. accommodation is not a problem since their nephew is working there. they almost don't have to shell out cash. did they accept my mom's offer? sadly, they did not.

their excuse? they're TOO MUCH attached to their "kids" (they're actually teens already. 2 of them in college). they can't leave them behind. mom argued that they'll just be gone on the weekend. still, they refused.

it's not a bad thing to want your "kids" to be with you in travel. once upon a time, it was my mom's philosophy too. but it doesn't have to be that way all the time.

now here's my advise:
actually, this was my mom's advise, i just want to share this to you.

YOUR "KIDS" WILL HAVE THEIR OWN TIME!

you've been taking good care of your kids your whole life! you've been guiding them and sending them to school. reward yourself. you don't have to travel very far, and you don't have to be away for a very long time. i'm sure being away on weekends won't hurt.

how can you convince your kids to travel when they grow up, if you haven't done it yourself? be the parents you want your kids to be in the future.

Why Do I Travel?

just a week ago, faye and i celebrated our 2nd year anniversary as an unmarried couple. we were in bohol with the rest of my family. putting the expensive seafood in bohol aside, it is the perfect place to celebrate our anniversary.

since this would be the last unmarried anniv celebration, please allow me to end this on a good note by sharing with you the reason why i travel.

take the road less traveled.
circumnavigating the WHOLE country and/or the world.
experiencing other cultures.
trying something new.
searching for new adventures.
being free.
self-discovery.

these are just some (and common) reasons and purpose why people travel. i've read their blogs and they have come a long way. most, if not all, of them conquered their fears. one of them have already set foot on ALL provinces in the philippines. one is on a 365-day travel around the world. some even quit their day jobs. all for the love of travel.

we have our own purpose and reasons. so what's mine? there's only one.

this:

balicasag island, bohol 2011

chocolate hills - bohol (again) 2012.. ANNIV!!

river rafting - cagayan de oro 2010

zipline -  bukidnon 2010

bantayan island, cebu 2012

forbidden city - beijing, china 2011

forgive me for being so miss universe-y. the reason i travel is that i want to see her happy. i don't care when and i don't care where it is. as long as she's happy.

besides, it was also my long time dream to travel with a romantic partner. traveling solo just don't work for me. and marking the whole world with my footprints just won't suffice.

some get awed with the beautiful view. i get awed with her smile.

some say that their experience is priceless. seeing her very happy is priceless to me.

some want to have adventures. in the worlds of mr. incredible, she IS my greatest adventure that i wouldn't dare want to miss.

all for the love of travel, and for the love for her. nothing is ever more fulfilling than that.

and to my baby whom i know won't take long before you're able to read this post: here's to more travel and adventures with you. and of course, more more love and happiness. i love you so much! happy anniversary :)

Travel Rant: Expensive Food In Bantayan Island!!

burgers.
french fries.
pasta carbonara.
pizza.
steak.

you would think i'm in a restauarant somewhere in manila. NOT! i'm in bantayan island.

i was THAT surprised it's a non-seafood dominated place. if ever you'll find seafood on the menu, it will be a whopping 100-150php PER 100 GRAMS. so that's 1,000-1,500php per kilogram of seafood! GOOD LORD!

fish here in manila is just a little over 100php/kilo. natatawaran pa namin ng 90php/kilo! crabs and shrimps/prawn at a little over 200php/kilo.

WHAT'S WITH ALL THE SEAFOOD IN THE ISLAND THAT MAKES IT VERY VERY EXPENSIVE?! i thought they're supposed to be cheaper than the ones in manila?! eh mas mura pa ang sa SEAFOOD ISLAND sa malls!! WTH?!

there are only two things that i want whenever i visit an island. cheaper/fresher seafood and the beach. in THAT order! you can just imagine my disappointment.

you'll probably suggest buying in the local wet market and have the resort cook them for me. NOTE: most resorts' cooking charge is 100php-150php/kilo. our resort (Beach Placid) charges 150php/recipe. mahal parin!


SOLUTION:

we bought seafood from the local fishermen. i patiently waited and waited and waited for one. after a few hours, a fisherman's wife approached me to buy her the catch of the day.

our group with the fisherman's wife

that time, she had over 2kg of crabs. initially, she offered it to us at 200php/kg. suweeet! i haggled it down to 360php for ALL of her crabs. she also offered to cook ALL of them for 100php. so that's less than 500php for the 4 of us. bumili na lang kami ng kanin sa resort.

lunch time

the next day, she had more crabs to offer, plus stone fishes for 50php/fish. panalo!

faye and her crab

i'm holding the stone fishes

for dinner, we checked out what every blogger has been raving about here - The Jungle.

sadly, their buffet was not available at the time we went there, and seafood prices are also sky high. good thing about this place is that it's being managed by a filipina, so she knows what every pinoy bakasyonista wants. prices from the menu were not followed! haha!

she offered buttered shrimps, sinigang na lapu-lapu, grilled scallops and rice for 700php. kasama na ang tawad jan.

buttered garlic shrimps

sinigang na lapu-lapu

grilled scallops

thanks to the local fisherman, his wife and to D' Jungle manager. sorry i can't remember your names. all of you saved me from bankruptcy. you're my bantayan island guardian angels.

Travel Rant: I didn't have a good photo of the great wall!!

"how to get to the great wall of china."
i entered google.
found out that there are many sections of the wall. i should have followed what i've read. we went to the badaling section - the nearest from downtown but most touristy of 'em all.

the result:

you can hardly see the wall. we have to walk farther to achieve this:

the spring season contributed to storm of massive tourists. i thought summer was the peak season. from my friends' experiences, i think it's better to go to beijing towards the end of winter. around march. plus, they also recommend the mutianyu section of the wall, instead of the badaling section. less touristy.

imagine building this structure more than 2000 years ago. no advanced machines like the ones we had today. people just used donkeys to haul huge boulders on top of the mountains.

"awesome" and "amazing" does not even justify its beauty. just be standing there, you could feel the blood and sweat poured in order to build the wall.

faye and i would definitely be back. and we promise a much better photo. for now, these will do.